Let’s face it: the truth about traditional New Years resolutions is that they don’t really work. The secret reason why this happens is that most resolutions are essentially fancy-sounding ’shoulds.’ But, good intentions alone rarely result in lasting change.

Good intentions by themselves are signals that we’re trying to be further along in motivation, readiness or willingness levels than we really are. Making a New Years resolution based on good intentions alone is therefore a sure way to feel inadequate, guilty, shameful, hopeless, or stupid. Because these are the ways you’ll feel when you ultimately recognise that you didn’t succeed in making your resolution come true.

Fortunately, there IS a way to make New Years resolutions (or resolutions or goals at any time of year) that have a legitimate, fighting chance of coming to pass. There are four secrets to this: 1) Know the sequence by which change happens; 2) Be impeccably honest with yourself about where you are in that sequence regarding the particular change you want to make; 3) Select your ‘change commitments’ based on where you ARE in that sequence, not based on where you WANT to be; 4) Address the blocks which may arise as you enact your ‘change commitment plan.’ If you follow these secrets, you will inevitably change in the ways you desire.

HOW CHANGE HAPPENS

Change occurs in a predictable sequence. If you try to proceed out of sequence, you are likely to be inefficient and frustrated at best, and feel hopeless, defeated and give up at worst. The change sequence is: 1) Gleams; 2) Commitment; 3) Preparation; 4) Training; 5) Manifestation; 6) Anchoring; 7) Teamwork, Leadership.

1. GLEAMS: Wanting to want. Wanting the end (the goal) but not the means (what you’ll have to do to achieve the goal). Also known as wishes, musing, seeing the light but not feeling the heat, pre-willingness, making excuses about why the goal can’t be achieved, being too afraid to take the risks necessary to make change possible. The trap here is not being in ‘gleams’ (this is the starting place of all dreams!), it’s thinking you’re somewhere else. So, if you’re not yet ready to shift from gleams to commitment, just accept this for now and decide which changes you are presently ready to commit to. Or, commit to identifying what blocks you from making a commitment to change in this way, and deal with those blocks instead of committing to the goal itself yet. Example: “I currently do not exercise, I sure would like to, but if I’m really honest with myself, I do not intend to start exercising in the next six months.”

2. COMMITMENT: Wanting. Also known as embracing a goal, becoming willing, becoming ready, becoming motivated. Example: “I currently do not exercise but I am committed to making exercise a part of the fabric of my life in the next six months.”

3. PREPARATION: Priorities realignment. Also known as changing your habits, priorities or lifestyle to make time and energy to follow through on your commitment. Includes decisions about resources you’ll use to help you change. Initial attempts to succeed at your commitment remain limited until priorities realignment occurs. Example: “I’ve made time in my schedule to exercise, have decided on the type of exercise that’s best for me to begin with, and have secured the resources necessary to exercise in this way.”

4. TRAINING: Learning how to use your selected resources to make the desired habit change or new capability possible to achieve. This is where the change process moves into full swing. How honest your commitment is shows through the extent to which you consistently follow the ‘training regimen.’ For an example of this, check out the scenes in the first Rocky movie, where Stallone sticks to his training routine come rain or shine. And, also like Stallone’s character, one can become stuck in an addiction or obsession with the training, causing other important aspects of one’s life to be neglected. Example: “In starting to exercise more regularly I am learning how to warm up and cool down, how to pace myself and how to avoid hurting myself or reducing my enjoyment of exercising by not over-reaching my abilities. I’m developing new discipline.”

5. MANIFESTATION: Repeatedly and consistently applying your training toward the committed goal. When self-defeating programming, patterns or wound haven’t yet surfaced, they do so here. As success starts to happen, these questions often arise, consciously or subliminally: “Is it okay to be successful?” “Do I want this amount of good?” Many people who can’t handle success self-destruct at this point in the change process, because wanting was safe but having is not. So, at this point it is frequently important to ask, “What are my blocks to sustaining higher levels of good in my life?” Example: “I currently exercise regularly, I have fun doing it, and I am still working out the kinks in my exercise programme. I have only begun exercising regularly in the last six months. I’m starting to see results, but I know that exercise is not yet a permanent habit for me.”

6. ANCHORING: The new pattern/habit becomes rooted, anchored, resistant to backsliding and graceful and fine-tuned. In other words, it becomes second nature. New habits spontaneously persist, or are rapidly returned to even in times of stress or disruption. Example: “I have been exercising consistently for longer than six months. It’s feeling like second nature to me. I’m beginning to feel some expertise at it.”

7. TEAMWORK: Often, a sense of individual mastery leads to wanting to create something with others who have mastery that’s larger than can be manifested alone. Fears of inter-dependence often arise at this point in the change process. This can lead to believing that you now can sustain the changes you’ve made by yourself. Example: “I like to exercise with others and find myself modifying the way I exercise so that I can do it as a group activity more of the time.”

8. MENTORING: Leadership. Taking others under your wing to coach. Example: “I feel so comfortable with my relationship to exercise and to doing it with others that I’m now enjoying being in a leadership, teaching or midwifing position with others.”

Reprinted with kind permission from the Willingness Works web site www.willingness.com

By Drs. David and Rebecca Grudermeyer

Originally published in Her Business magazine.

Copyright ©2008 flokka.com and ©2008 herbusiness.com. Article material on flokka.com is copyright. Reproduction in whole or in part without advance written permission is prohibited.

Building trust with your potential customers is the first step to convert more. You must remember that in most cases the visitor has yet to visit your website and might not even have heard of it. Building trust will increase the likelihood of making a purchase.

1. Display your full contact information - Having your address, company reg number and telephone number listed in a visible place across the website will help boost credibility, an important part of building trust.
2. Make sure you have a privacy policy - Visitors will often quickly scan your homepage to see if you have listed a privacy policy. This policy highlights what you intend to do with their information and in some cases might be included in the website’s terms and conditions.
3. Double check grammar and spelling - Poorly constructed product or service pages and especially those with grammar and spelling mistakes will instantly cause a lack of trust.
4. Display 3rd party accreditation - Highlighting your association with well known organisations is useful for building trust. 3rd party accreditation and association could be, in its very basic form, displaying a PayPal logo or your Yellow Pages badge (that is, only if you’re signed up with them).
5. Encourage customer reviews and testimonials - Accepting reviews some glowing and some less can help build overall trust. While some might view these with a skeptic eye, others might find it convincing.

After building basic trust with website visitors, the next stage is optimising the online experience to ensure visitors will part with their money on your website.

6. Check your prices regularly - Statistics say that over 85% of website visitors first visit your website because they are conducting market research. Therefore they are likely to view other offers on other websites so make sure your prices are always competitive.
7. Diversify product offers - Some customer groups find sale items appealing, some find ‘buy one get one free’ appealing and some find free delivery appealing. To increase your chances of converting any of these customer groups consider diversifying product offers often.
8. Place your best sellers up front - Most of your website visitors will first visit your homepage therefore it makes sense to put your best sellers on the homepage. You could also apply the same logic to displaying your best seller on a category level.
9. Cross and up sell when possible - Increasing revenue by cross selling is often used under “customers who bought this also bought that”, while up selling is often achieved by suggesting complementary products. Both are very popular ways to increase revenue.  
10. Offer additional payment gateways - Very similar to diversifying product offers, some customer groups might prefer to pay by credit card. Others use one of the big 3rd party payment gateways such as PayPal and Google Checkout. To maximise your conversion potential try and cater for these customer groups as well by offering two payment gateways.
    
I hope my tips will point you in the right direction.

Guest article by Michelle Strassburg Head of Sales and Marketing at online hardwood flooring vendor Wood and Beyond. Michelle has over 10 years experience managing online marketing.

Hundreds of years ago, the seed of a giant sequoia redwood tree germinated and took root. At that moment, it was genetically predetermined that this tree would become, well, a giant.

If the germinating seed of an ornamental pear tree could know anything, it is that its issue will never be very tall. As trees go, pears are short. It’s in the genes.

A tree’s growth plan is fairly simple: soak up as much sunshine and water as possible, fight off the pests and the competition, and let genetics take care of the rest.

Businesses Don’t Have Genes

Businesses are not like trees. Fortunately or unfortunately, there are no genetic codes for our businesses - nothing predetermined to take us off the hook in terms of how large our organisation should become. Whether our company becomes a giant or an ornamental is up to us - the owners.

Yes, there are marketplace factors that influence growth, like capital availability, competition, and general economic conditions, plus our own business acumen and managementability. But these are environmental influences, like food, water, and sunshine, not genetic code.

Two Big Questions

A pear tree cannot decide to grow as tall as a giant redwood, but in a free-market economy, the size of a business can be what the owner makes it. And for small business owners, that fact creates two questions we go to sleep asking ourselves, and wake up trying to answer:

1. How big do I want my business to be?

2. How fast do I want to get to that size?

There are no right or wrong answers. That’s the beauty of a free market economy: It’s your business - you get to decide.

But there ARE right and wrong reasons. For business owners, growth is a rope that can be made into a ladder or a noose. With the right business model, capitalisation plan, and effective leadership, you can design and build a rope ladder that you can climb to great heights.

But growth for its own sake is organisational suicide - take a look at the Dot Com revolution that created the Dot Bomb graveyard.

The Most Important Questions

There are two questions more important than the previous two, which small business owners should actually ask themselves first:

1. Do I want my business to grow?

2. If so, why?

Just as you have the right to grow your business, you have the right to limit growth. And believe it or not, the latter is more difficult for most of us than the former. Here’s why:

* Entrepreneurs are hard-wired to create more of the object of their entrepreneurialism.

* The culture of the marketplace encourages, recognises, and rewards growth.

* The marketplace is nothing if not competitive. And the most prominent by-product of being a successful competitor is growth.

But in the face of all this pressure, small business owners MUST be able to answer these two questions objectively, especially the second one.

Growth Is Not Always Cool

Peter Meyer is the author of Warp Speed Growth. Early in his book he lists four fallacies of growth. Here they are;

Fallacy #1. You can grow out of an organisational problem.

Sometimes, in a state of denial or ignorance, small business owners think getting bigger will fix their management and organisational shortcomings. If a tree is bent, fertilising it won’t make it grow straighter - only faster in the wrong direction. If you have organisational challenges, don’t grow until you resolve those challenges.

Fallacy #2. Growth equals profitability.

Yes, increased sales volume can help you improve vendor discounts and therefore, gross margins. But that doesn’t mean your organisation can manage the extra activity well enough to convert those discounts to the bottom line. One of the rudest awakenings an owner can have is when projected sales growth has been achieved, and the bottom line of the much-anticipated profit-and-loss statement is no better, and perhaps worse, than a period with lower sales. It’s not what you make (sales) that’s important, it’s what you keep (profits) that’s important.

Fallacy #3. Profitability improves when every customer is yours.

Being the market leader can be overrated. In his book, Peter cites research that shows that only 29 percent of market leaders were also the profitability leader. Not only are you not going to sell every customer, you don’t want every customer. Every business has some individual customers, and some customer profiles, that are not profitable. Remember, you don’t spend sales, only profits.

Fallacy #4. If you grow, customers will benefit.

Peter says focusing on growth is focusing on yourself. Every minute your company focuses on itself is a minute diverted away from focusing on the customer. One of the classic examples of a company’s self-absorbed focus on growth is when it uses the term ‘fastest growing’ in marketing material as if this were a benefit for its customers. What makes you think customers don’t like you the size that you are? What makes you think they will like the new size you are planning?

All this doesn’t mean that growth is bad, or that you should be happy with the size of your company.

But do make sure that when you grow your business, it’s because you’ve thought about why and how. Here are five reality checks, each followed by a slap-in-the-face question:

1. The marketplace is pretty full already. Is there a real opportunity to grow?

2. Growth takes cash. How will I fund the growth I am planning?

3. The rewards of growth are typically delayed. If we grow as planned, can my organisation wait for the payoff?

4. Growth takes a company into unfamiliar operational territory. Do I have the staff and systems to blaze that trail without creating a casualty list?

5. Being a business owner should be a source of happiness. Will I be happy with a larger business?

Businesses are not like trees. How big your business becomes is not genetically predetermined. It’s up to you. Just because you CAN grow your business doesn’t mean that you should. Ask the questions! And then proceed based on your answers.

 Originally published in Her Business magazine.

Copyright ©2007-9 www. flokka.com and ©2007-9 herbusiness.com. Article material on flokka.com is copyright. Reproduction in whole or in part without advance written permission is prohibited.

Have you ever wondered why you can’t see eye to eye with your business partner about money? Do you argue with your spouse and family over how money is spent? Do you wonder why some people fritter their money away while others won’t loosen their grasp on it?

The answer is that money has nothing to do with dollars and sense. It is a deeply emotional subject and few of us treat it rationally. And no wonder - money is a large part of our lives essential to our survival. And when your survival is at stake your inner most instincts come to the fore.

Television has capitalised on this phenomenon in “real life” shows. We sit at home watching people receive financial advice from experts. We marvel at how foolishly they manage their money and why they can’t see the “obvious”. Confronted with excellent financial advice, these individuals continued to sabotage themselves. Why would a person choose to do this we ask ourselves?

In fact there are many reasons why some people don’t manage their money as well as they could. The usual conclusion is that they require education, and this is a subject well covered by existing literature. However, education on its own is of no value. Let’s face it, we all know too much chocolate is bad, and in a perfect world we would all eat healthily and exercise regularly. Unfortunately people don’t always do what they know they should.

So how do we change this?

One solution I have identified is the development of eight money personalities that help explain people’s behaviour in terms of earning, spending, gifting, borrowing, saving and investing. The money personality is also a strong indicator of a person’s risk profile.

Understanding your money personality and how it impacts on your ability to achieve your monetary goals is an important first step to financial reform. From there you can identify limiting behaviours and work to effect change at both the conscious and subconscious levels.

As you go through that process you may find that your money personality changes. Or, in reading the descriptions you may notice you have changed over time. This is a normal part of your transition through life.

 The eight money personalities - an overview

 The Champagne Set is easy to identify. These individuals show a preference for top label brands and visible wealth. They are more likely to drive new models of cars, or premium brands such as Mercedes, BMW or Audi. They are fond of standing out from the crowd, and will be comfortable in their Valentino jeans and Versace T-shirt.

Where income permits they will enjoy eating out regularly and opt for superior wines. When income does not meet their appetite for buying the nice things in life Champagne Set individuals are very comfortable borrowing money, and don’t lose sleep over large mortgages or credit card bills.

They tend to be ’see it, like it, buy it’ shoppers, and are decisive where money is concerned.

Hoarders by contrast dislike debt, and work hard to repay it. They are highly cautious in all respects preferring safe investments with low returns. Hoarders prefer to shop around for the best price on purchases and will often have favourite discount shops they haunt.

Around the home the person switching off all the unused appliances and lighting is probably a Hoarder. More than anything else these individuals worry about the future, and are very security conscious. They like to keep money on hand for the proverbial rainy day, and are sometimes accused of being stingy.

This personality type is especially prevalent in those brought up in the depression when money was scarce.

 Penny Wise are a combination of The Champagne Set and Hoarders. The name is derived from the saying ‘penny wise, pound foolish’ - an accurate summation of this money personality. The Penny Wise demonstrates the same caution as Hoarders when it comes to day to day expenses. They make wise decisions when purchasing groceries. They often make their own lunch or employ other money saving devices which may each save a few dollars.

But when it comes to purchases where large dollar amounts are concerned the pendulum swings the other way. They will be fussy about purchasing good quality clothing from top brand names. Even the poorest Penny Wise will purchase expensive new appliances (because you can trust the brand) rather than a reconditioned or shop soiled model.

Unfortunately the extra expense on larger purchases outweighs any savings on living expenses and the individual is left wondering why they can never save.

 Bargain Hunters are every marketer’s dream. As the name suggests, these individuals enjoy shopping, particularly when they think they are getting a good deal. Purchases are frequently made without regard to need. As a result they may lie unopened in a cupboard, or be thrown out. These individuals also enjoy giving, and often use this as an excuse for shopping.

Sales will definitely attract Bargain Hunters, as will special incentive programs such as loyalty cards. While some people loathe going to the shops Bargain Hunters think of it as a pick-me-up. Underpinning this is a desire for love and comfort.

Bargain Hunters are not as comfortable with debt as The Champagne Set but they are likely to have hire purchase or credit card debt.

 Gamblers are eternal optimists. While the name may conjure up images of a roulette wheel Gamblers are defined by their attitude, and may have no interest in conventional gambling. These individuals have an all or nothing approach to life and they love making deals.

Where money is concerned they can be reckless. They always expect that the next wave will be the big one so they’re prepared to try time and again.

Where other individuals may feel defeated by a failed investment or business Gamblers are resilient and have no hesitation in moving on to the next venture. Gamblers tend to be rich or poor, but never in between.

 Don’t Know refers to the level of financial literacy an individual has. This money personality usually has no idea how much they earn or spend. Nor do they know how much debt they have or what it’s costing them. Don’t Know usually experience financial difficulty and it’s not unusual to find that their outgoings exceed their income.

These individuals tend to have high consumer debt, and may borrow from non-mainstream financial institutions. These have high interest rates (sometimes in excess of 50 percent) and the cost of debt servicing further compounds their problem.

Unfortunately this money personality tends to be a big spender. Many are small items, such as lunches or takeaways, but the cumulative effect is significant.

 Poor Me is a variation on the Don’t Know money personality. Poor Me experience all the same characteristics with the added ingredient of helplessness. Both personalities require education, but the Poor Me would prefer someone else to fix the problems and hasn’t reached the point of accepting that they are responsible for making changes.

They believe they are a victim of their circumstances and find it hard to move past that point.

 Wizard is one of the rarest money personalities. They know what they spend and earn, and have a plan to ensure all expenses are minimised. They will have sufficient passive income from investments to allow financial freedom. The Wizard will borrow, but only for purchasing investments.

Financial wizardry is the point most people want to achieve. The following section will give you some clues to help you become a Wizard.

 Lessons

 Champagne Set tend to live in the moment and savings are neglected. Individuals need to establish a savings plan. This will require a change in spending habits. Continue making quality purchases but make fewer, or opt for second purchases or end of season sales, improve self-restraint and think overnight before making large purchases.

Hoarders are good savers -too good. They need to learn to enjoy today. It’s not necessary to tuck away every penny. Where investments are concerned consider asking your financial adviser to diversify your portfolio.

Penny Wise need to learn moderation. Why slave to save $100 on 30 cut lunches and then blow it by not shopping around on a large purchase? When the balance is right savings will accumulate.

Bargain Hunters will benefit from asking themselves whether they really need the item they are thinking of purchasing. It’s difficult but it needs to become a mantra. Question yourself… Do I really need this? Do I really need two of these? Is it really a special price or can I get this price some other time?

Gamblers are unlikely to take heed of any advice, because it genuinely doesn’t upset them if they lose money. Their major lesson is to establish a safety net of income and assets to fall back on in the event of a business failure, investment or gambling loss. The other key is to only spend/invest money you can afford to lose.

Don’t Know/Poor Me are not aware of the financial impact of their decisions so education is vitally important for these individuals. A good starting point is self awareness and is a useful exercise for all money personalities. Analyse how much you earn, what you spend and what you owe. Learn as much as you can about your finances.

TALIA MANA is the founder of the Centre for Personal Growth and Well Being, a motivational speaker and author.

 Originally published in Her Business magazine.

Copyright ©2007-9 www. flokka.com and ©2007-9 herbusiness.com. Article material on flokka.com is copyright. Reproduction in whole or in part without advance written permission is prohibited.

When Overwhelm hits you, you know it. It is different for each person, some become anxious, some breathless, some yawn and find it hard to stay awake, others cry, some scream, others get sick, some call it stress, others procrastination. Whatever your personal response, everyone knows what it’s like to be in a state of overwhelm. And once you’re in overwhelm it can be hard to find your way out. 

Many of our experiences of Overwhelm stem from our assumptions about Time - the more typical one being that there’s not enough time.

When we look more closely at the nature of Overwhelm, we find it contains very specific information about what we need in order to start moving. Amazingly, once we have this information, it doesn’t seem so difficult to find the time!

So when your feeling Overwhelmed try these;

1.Taking care of your body: 

The feeling of Overwhelm could simply be a sign that you need to pay attention to your body.  Ask yourself the following:

* Movement - Are you using your body? Don’t miss an opportunity to move: run, walk, swim, and jump

* Hydration - When was the last time you had a drink of water?

* Sustenance - Are you eating regularly? Are you eating food that nourishes you?

* Rest - Are you sleeping properly? Rather than working late, try going to bed before 10:00pm and working in the early hours of the morning.

* Stillness - Are you allowing your mind to become calm? Try meditating, or walking outside and looking at the sky, or simply stop and take a few slow quiet breaths.

2. Finding out the facts

Sometimes Overwhelm is our mind’s way of letting us know that we don’t have sufficient facts and/or we need to clarify the validity of the information we already possess.

Are you confusing FACTS with IMPRESSIONS! Both are important but they are not the same.

Take a mental note about what your impressions are and then make a concerted effort to find out the facts. Ask yourself: What facts do I have so far? What else do I need to know?

3. Dealing with difficult feelings

Sometimes the task itself may be quite do-able but a highly charged emotional field surrounds it. This can cause the task and the emotions to become fused, making it seem as though both are the same.

In this situation, separate the emotions from the task and deal with each on their own terms. Once you have clarity, the task itself will seem less daunting.

Ask yourself:  How do you really feel about the task? Scared, sad, angry, confused, guilty, betrayed, powerless? Do you need some support to deal with these feelings in the way of books or professional support?

4. Saying how it is for you

Sometimes we experience Overwhelm when we have something important to say and don’t feel confident or comfortable in communicating it, or even that we have a right to communicate it.

There are five important issues to consider prior to any communication taking place: -

* The Message: Clarify first for yourself what you want to say.

* The Environment: Consider the context of the communication, and choose the best place for it to take place; at home, at the office, over dinner, away from home, or over coffee.

* The Recipient: It is important that we direct our message to the right person. Consider who that person/persons would be.

* The Time of day: Consider what time of day would give you the best results; in the morning? before lunch? after lunch?

* The Medium: We have many choices available to us. Consider the right message for the right medium.  Written: letter, postcard, fax, email or spoken: telephone, tape, song.

5. Deciding what you really want

Sometimes feeling Overwhelm is a sign that we have been ignoring what our heart really desires, or the goal we really seek. This may be because we believe it is unattainable or that we don’t deserve it.

It is important to clarify, for ourselves, in as much detail as we can, what we really want.

What do you want to achieve? Do you have a picture in your mind of what you want? Can you draw it, or write about it? Are you afraid to set a goal? Is there a sentence you could construct which represents the completion of your goal?

6. Learning something new

Sometimes, especially when we’re older, we believe that we should already know things without having to be taught. This can mean we can be caught in a situation where we feel we are expected to know something and we’re afraid to admit that we don’t know. Is there a particular skill or subject area that you would like to know more about?

7. Looking at where the anxiety really belongs

Sometimes we feel Overwhelm and assume it’s a reaction to one area of our life, when it actually belongs somewhere else.

After careful reflection it is possible to recognise how easily this ‘dumping’ of anxiety from one area into another can occur and how easily it can instantly render something more stressful than it needs to be.

In such a situation, it is important to ‘trace the anxiety’ back to its origin. Once we take responsibility for the true source of the anxiety, its ‘power’ over us will diminish, and we can then return to the original issue with a great deal more clarity and energy.

8. Being trapped in avoidance patterns

Sometimes we develop strategies to avoid dealing with particular things in our lives.  If left to their own devices, these avoidance strategies can become more complex and energy-consuming than the original issue we are avoiding. If you are feeling Overwhelm your avoidance patterns may be so automatic that the real issues are really hard to get at.  This means they are controlling you. An addiction is an example of a patterned response to avoid pain (emotional, mental, physical). When you start to notice yourself repeatedly avoiding a particular issue, and feel unable to break out of, consider seeking professional support.

9. Trying to control others

Sometimes ‘being Overwhelmed’ is a way of exerting power or influence over those around us. It can be used as a passive form of controlling others, by creating a situation where others feel compelled to help. This form of convenient Overwhelm can provide you with a temporary feeling of being in control but it doesn’t last. Soon the people around you will begin to feel manipulated and resentful.

Underlying this form of Overwhelm is the avoidance of honest communication. Focus on taking responsibility for your needs and feelings, and asking for help before you become Overwhelmed.

This strategic Overwhelm also works as a way of withholding something (information, affection, support etc) from someone in order to control them. This can ultimately lead to guilt and loneliness as you gradually cut yourself off from those around you. It can also set off a power game chain reaction where each person shuts off to the other when they reach out. To overcome this type of Overwhelm you must be willing to be honest, vulnerable and compassionate.

By becoming aware of the messages within Overwhelm,  we can begin to put our energy into managing our lives through Overwhelm rather than simply auto-reacting to it.

So where does Time fit in then?

What appears, at first glance, to be a problem with Time is just one aspect of a very powerful relationship between Time, Energy and Motion that occurs deep within ourselves.

More often than not, when we say we can’t find, or don’t have the Time for something, it usually means that we don’t have the Energy for it. When we don’t have the Energy, this usually means that we feel ’stuck’ or we can’t move, and when this happens we feel overwhelmed.

I DON’T HAVE THE TIME means

I DON’T HAVE THE ENERGY, which usually means

I CAN’T MOVE/work on this situation

The simplest way to demonstrate the creative relationship between Time, Energy and Motion is to work backwards!

When I’m OVERWHELMED in practical terms, it means I can’t move.

When I take some TIME to look closely at Overwhelm, I can see why I’m stuck.

This gives me the ENERGY to see where to start, then, miraculously, I CAN FIND THE TIME.

 Cecille Weldon is the Director of Banyan Tree Creative Services which provides a full range of integrated management and creative services as well as Organic Time Management services.

Originally published in Her Business magazine.

Copyright ©2007-9 www. flokka.com and ©2007-9 herbusiness.com. Article material on flokka.com is copyright. Reproduction in whole or in part without advance written permission is prohibited.

Elsa lost her eyesight when she was three. Does she perceive charisma from other people without seeing them? “Of course,” she said in our interview. “I pick up whether people have charisma. I listen to their voices and when there is a melody and livelihood I know they have it. If the person has charisma it is as if the warm sun shines on your skin.”

What is Charisma?

Charisma is easy to spot but hard to describe. Nailing down a definition is like trying to define happiness, or what constitutes a great holiday. We tend to overuse the term, lavishing it indiscriminately on insolent athletes, glamorous film stars, and fanatic cultists, as well as on genuinely enchanting and inspirational personalities like, Oprah Winfrey, Mahatma Gandhi, and Nelson Mandela.

Charisma is the ability to influence others positively by connecting with them physically, emotionally, and intellectually. Sue an old school friend of mine was an ordinary looking girl. Yet for some reason she attracted boys like no one else of us could. Only much later it became clear to me what her magical potion was. Where as the other girls were primarily focussed on their looks Sue was genuinely interested in the boys and knew how to make them feel good. Sue’s self-esteem was so healthy that even though she could not compete with most of the other girl’s physical appearance she radiated inner beauty.

Charisma, writes Harvard anthropologist Charles Lindholm, involves “a compulsive, inexplicable emotional tie.” While charisma, he notes, is thought of as something intrinsic to the individual, it can be revealed only in interaction with others. “Charisma is,” Lindholm says, “above all, a relationship, a mutual mingling of the inner selves of leader and follower.”

The Oxford Dictionary defines charisma as “The powerful personal quality that some people have to attract and impress other people”. 

Which employee will get the better position if all competitors had the same skills? The person with charisma.
Who leaves a lasting positive impression in her client’s mind? The sales person with the most charisma.

Charisma is powerful stuff. People who build charisma
• attract the right people
• create the relationships they want
• improve the relationships they have
• get others to listen to them
• influence others positively
• find direction and certainty in modern survivalism

Developing Your Personal Charisma
Most people believe that charisma is something that you are born with. You have it or you don’t. Fifteen years of researching human behaviour and working with thousands of people on improving their personal magnetism show that charisma can be developed.

Every person has the potential for enormous charisma. It is present within each of us though may lie dormant throughout our lives. So why is it that some people seem to have it in bucket loads, while others don’t? What are the qualities that combine to create that personal magnetism we all admire so much?

A study at Mentor University in the United States has revealed seven key personality traits of highly charismatic people:

Speaking with Authority
The ability to articulate your ideas effectively.

Silent Messages/Image
The way you carry yourself, physically, emotionally, and intellectually.

Listening Attentively
Listening is a key to communicating and making others feel special in your presence.

Persuasiveness
Motivating others to follow your lead or adopt your idea.

Space and Time Usage
Honoring another person’s personal space and time will affect the amount of tension and trust.

Adaptability
Building bridges by understanding how to treat others the way they would like to be treated.

Vision
Ability to influence others to follow, change their ideas or take action.

Interestingly, we admire those who have the courage to be themselves, who do not please, but are genuinely interested in others and radiate self-confidence and decisiveness that makes us believe in them and follow them. Charismatic people have self-esteem, dignity and a certain type of grace. People respect and like them because they respect and like themselves. 

Many people’s natural charisma is overshadowed with a cloud of “who they think they should be”. Charisma radiates when you have the courage to be all that you are – when you expand into your potential. We learn very early in life that sharing our ‘real’ selves is inappropriate and is often not wanted or even criticized. So we try hard to be someone else, and in the process we disconnect from our true power and potential, the very cornerstones of charisma.

How to Unleash Charisma

Whether we are managing a business, a home, a project or raising children, personal charisma creates the magnetism we need to realize our dreams. Our potential is stimulated and our charisma unleashed when the fertile ground of our soul is honoured.  When we love and nurture our inner selves we begin the process of realizing our true nature - and charisma follows ‘naturally’.

Charismatic people have the courage to be who they really are. They know their strengths and their weaknesses. They have found their self-value and uniqueness. They have a positive acceptance about themselves and often have the same positive belief in others. This is the foundation upon which they build successful relationships and lives.

Charisma thrives in an atmosphere of self-esteem. Self-esteem gives us the power to be who we really are and the power to attract and lead others effectively. Our self-esteem grows when we have the courage and kindness to be honest with ourselves and provides the ideal inner environment for developing our potential and the qualities of charisma.

To begin the process of enhancing your self-esteem and unleashing your charisma, take a moment to reflect on the following questions:

1.  Do you have a vision?
Do you have a vision of who you really want to be in let’s say ten years time? What do you want from life and your relationships? What you can offer to others?

2. Do you speak with authority?
Do you stand up for what you want? How do you communicate what you want and what you have to offer?

3. What is your silent message?
How do other people perceive you? Ask a friend or someone who you trust for their honest opinion about you.

4. How do you persuade?
Is your vision seductive to others? Does it include a benefit for them? Can you communicate your ideas clearly?

5. How do you listen?
When listening to others do you try to understand them and hear what they really say?

6. Do you honour them?
How well do you honour another person even if they have different ideas?  How do you accept their opinions?

7. How well do you adapt?
Do you treat others the way they would like to be treated?

People with charisma exude a degree of magic that has the power and magnetism to transform their relationships and circumstances.

It is becoming more important than ever in personal and business life to build charisma. Fast changes and breakdown of companies do not guarantee a secure workplace anymore. We have to adapt and improve our skills. People skills have become recognised as invaluable.  People who develop their charisma will develop their people skills naturally. They will not only survive but thrive.

 
Franziska Goyo is a human relationships expert, keynote speaker and international seminar leader and author of “Push My Buttons, Baby!” – How to create the best relationships ever – The Black Belt of the Emotional Arts .

Originally published in Her Business magazine.
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